Old folks’ card games

Whatever happened to good ol’ game night? In the era of the Wii, the ipod and the PS3, we seem to have forgotten that the human brain is capable of entertaining itself.

Here are some old lady card games that you might want to think about reviving at your next party. I would write up all the rules, but as with most old-lady games, it’s much easier to learn these games by having a kind and patient older person teach it to you, preferably over a cup of strong English breakfast tea and a cat at your feet.

The best way to learn card games is simply playing and making mistakes. Trust me, I have learned all of these games, with various results, except for the last one listed.

I have listed the games in order of complexity and the amount of wit it takes to play them. The goal is to get to a point where you can utter a charming bon mot while taking everyone’s money AND the last cookie. 

Hearts – The most basic of “trump” or “trick” games. You must master this before proceeding  to more complex old-lady card games. If you don’t know what a “trump” or “trick” is, you are not my audience for this blog.

Canasta – A rip-roaring wallop of a card game, preferably played by four people (that’s the minimum). The whole point is creating “melds” or suites of cards. I had a memorable Canasta game once in the Hamptons drinking white wine from a rocks glass. Now that’s living and that’s why old people play Canasta — they know what’s fun.

Pinochle – Even more complex than Canasta. Ever notice the older people who play Pinochle? You don’t want to mess with them because chances are, their memory is better than yours and they won’t hesitate to take all your money.

Cribbage – The mother of all card games because it combines a peg board AND cards. Plus you have to be really good at math because there are different scores for different hands. This is a game for the more intellectually inclined old ladies — because lemme tell you, the more you drink the WORSE you get at Cribbage unlike most card games.

Bridge — The ultimate of all old-lady card games. I have to admit, I have played all the above EXCEPT for bridge. Something about it intimidates me. It’s like the double-black-diamond of card games. Ya know why? People who are good at bridge are professionals. They just seem to jump out of the womb, knowing how to play. This is the next stage in my old-lady-hood and I am looking for a patient person who can teach me. Any takers?

Rainy days, part deux

As I promised, here are some rainy day style guidelines for men. I’ve kept it very simple — men, in my opinion, don’t need  a ton of guidelines and direction. And you probably have better things to do, if you’re truly grandpa fabulous, than sit here and read this blog all day.

 This is for all the granpafab people in my life. May there always be an extra dry martini waiting for you. Enjoy!

SHOES

Just because it’s raining doesn’t mean you can just let yourself go. And another thing…Crocs are for people who actually work in a kitchen, not you.

Granny loves: Dr. Martens, Hunter boots (an edgy look, but it can look fabulous on men if done right) and vintage Stan Smith or Converse sneakers.

Granny hates: Crocs, Nasty, beat-up tennis shoes with holes in them, those weird yoga shoes with no laces.

OUTFIT

Gentlemen, just because it’s raining doesn’t mean that you should dress as if you are sitting in front of a television, watching football or for those grandpa fabulous folks, golf.

You should take into account that you will get wet, so no velvet and such fabrics, but otherwise, dress as if you were going out in public, please.

Granny loves: Classic trenchcoats, fisherman’s sweaters, Pants that fit

Granny hates: Sweatsuits, velour, anoraks (those are for actual sailing, not for wearing about town — it’s also loud – swish, swish)

And finally, a word about hats. I cannot emphasize enough how an elegant topper can finish your rainy-day ensemble. Whether it’s a classic fedora or a jaunty fishmerman’s cap, it’s a risk you should consider. When wearing a hat, ask yourself this question — would Robert Mitchum or Steve McQueen wear it? If not, well, you know the answer — DON’T.

Grandpa fabulous

The Sartorialist is one of my must-read blogs every morning. Check out his posts on these two Grandpa fabulous style superstars – The Silver Fox and Yukio Akamine.  Perfect as a single-malt scotch.

http://www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

Proper attire for rain

It’s raining today in San Francisco yet again, and yet again, I see tons of sloppy, disheveled attire. Bad weather does not mean you get to wear nasty rubber boots with cherries all over them with pleated jeans that do not fit.

In our grandmother’s day, people still had a semblance of style and grace when it rained. Why do people feel that it’s okay to just let it hang loose as soon as the first drop of water falls?

Here are some ideas of what to wear when it rains…and still be granny fabulous.

This will be a two-part bit of advice — Gentlemen, your turn comes tomorrow. As Granny always says, “Ladies first”:

FOR LADIES

OUTERWEAR

Granny loves: Trenchcoats, A beat-up, preferably vintage leather jacket that fits you well.
Granny hates: Too-big puffer jackets that make you look like a Michelin Man, Boxy denim jackets with weird washes.

SHOES

Granny loves: Knee-high boots (leather — if they are rubber, they should be Hunter boots or something similar. If you are more than 25 years old, you no longer have the right to wear cartoon characters on your shoes), dark waterproofed pumps with a low heel with rubber soles for the rain, patent leather ballet flats also with a rubber sole.
Granny hates: Any sort of rubber boot with a cartoon, like ducks, on it (cute on your kid, not you), rubber shoes like Crocs (they are for the kitchen, people!)! A scarf tied Grace Kelley style over your head.

OUTFIT UNDER THE COAT

Granny loves: Skinny jeans that tuck into knee-high boots sleekly, Slacks with the aforementioned pumps, Sweaterdress with all of the shoe suggestions above.

Granny hates: Torn jeans with longjohns showing (so 90s, but YES, I saw this today), Rubber anything (shirt, pants, etc. — best saved for the club), Pajamas (You laugh, but I saw two people wearing these today and they were not homeless).

One final word of advice: It is NEVER okay to carry a plastic grocery bag on rainy days as your handbag. There are many inexpensive options you can find today for appropriate rainy-day handbags. Here is a nice alternative — it is under $20 so no excuses!

Throw away that garbage bag and buy this tote here

Age ain’t nothing but a number, toots

Welcome to Granny Fabulous.

What is Granny Fabulous? Our world is becoming more juvenile, youth-worshipping and altogether too schlumpy.

This blog worships all things old. Things your grandma would have approved of. French 75s, clothes that fit, small lap dogs and handwritten thank-you cards should not be things of the past. Britney Spears, you are not my target audience.

Because unlike most of my Botox-loving generation, I aspire to be an old lady — I may not be there yet, but I’m looking forward to it.

What you’ll find here are fabulous ideas to lead a genteel life of an earlier time — whether it’s the rules to canasta or a great recipe for grapefruit and avocado salad, you’ll find it here.

Here’s to a more civilized existence.